Saturday, May 11, 2013

The story behind the story

No two ways about it, moving is a bitch.  So I took a break from blogging last Saturday.

You never know where or when your proverbial 15 minutes of fame will occur.  This week the public spotlight fell on Charles Ramsey, the man who gave a colorful interview after helping rescue the three women held captive in Cleveland, and Phyllis "Filomena" Tobias, the ex-wife of a late CNBC commentator/hedge fund manager and apparent Miami Heat fan who flipped the bird inches from the face of Chicago Bulls center Joakim Noah.  And when the photos of her went viral, fame was thrust on the guy who took the shots.

Story behind photo of Heat fan giving Joakim Noah the finger

More pictures from the photographer who caught the Filomena Tobias flipoff.

Steve Mitchell, USA TODAY Sports
Steve Mitchell, USA TODAY Sports
It’s just been one of those days for Steve Mitchell, the USA TODAY Sports Images photographer who snapped the viral photo of Miami Heat fan Filomena Tobias giving Chicago Bulls center Joakim Noah the finger.
“I did not think it was going to be like this,” Mitchell told For The Win, when asked about all the attention his picture is getting.
Mitchell was busy transmitting photos to his editors when Noah got thrown out of Game 2 Wednesday night. He said he didn’t even see the play, but once the commotion started, he grabbed his camera and started shooting.
“I see him arguing with the refs, so I quickly jump up and grab my Nikon 600 mm lens,” Mitchell said. “I see him get ejected and I see him walking and I’m just taking pictures, and as I’m taking these pictures, the shutter, which is a Digital SLR, is going so fast I can’t see her hand. I see him walking and I thought she was just trying to touch him.”
As Mitchell’s shutter kept going off, he caught Tobias looking mighty proud of herself, giving the man accompanying her to the game a high-five.
Steve Mitchell, USA TODAY Sports
Steve Mitchell, USA TODAY Sports
“Then Taj Gibson gets ejected and she does the same thing to him,” Mitchell said.
As Mitchell’s shutter kept going, he caught the man with Tobias in a wonderful action shot.
Steve Mitchell, USA TODAY Sports
Steve Mitchell, USA TODAY Sports
“And afterwards, during a timeout, I see on the back of my camera what I have and quickly start sending pictures to the desk,” Mitchell said.
Mitchell didn’t notice Tobias’ finger initially because he was working on a small computer on a tight deadline and was cranking out photos as fast as he could.
It wasn’t until after the game when he met up with some colleagues in the media work room that he learned he’d gone viral.
“They were all talking about my photo,” he said.
So was everyone else.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

The Greatest Videos of All Time



Wimp.com has a great collection of videos.  Here's one featuring outtakes of a couple having fun while shooting a commercial for a truck stop restaurant in Maine and trying to get one line right.  http://www.wimp.com/couplecommercial/

Warning: this website is highly addictive.  Videos include optical illusions, cute pets, and incredible feats of athletics.  Once you're on the site, click the "next" link to watch random videos or enter your own search.  But trust me, you'll want to finish your chores and errands first.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Vote for Our Dog



IMG-20130401-00164.jpg

It's springtime, but an important election is heating up.  Our dog Cami (left above) and her running mate Sunny are vying for a spot in the 2014 Petco Foundation calendar.  The theme of the campaign is "Life is Better Together" and thankfully they don't have to pose in bathing suits or some other embarrassing outfits.
 



The competition is open to all pets regardless of class, breed or color.  Your vote with a $1 donation and a minimum of five votes (ok, so a $5 donation) helps the charity chosen by the owner of the pet with the most votes.  We selected the San Diego Humane Society, as its dogged determination to keep the ailing puppy we initially wanted to adopt fortuitously lead us to Cami at another shelter.  A panel of judges will choose the photos for the calendar.  Your votes won't necessarily sway the panel, but then again they might.

Voting closes April 29.  Click here to go to the voting page.  Type "cami" in the search box and look for this photo below.  As they campaign, Cami and Sunny promise to lick the face of every voter they meet.
 

Cami & Sunny
 

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Pronouncing Louisville



Congratulations to the Louisville Cardinals, the NCAA 2013 Men's College Basketball champions.  It's the school's third NCAA basketball title and perhaps the sweetest one in light of the horrific leg injury sustained by guard Kevin Ware.

As the excitement dies down and the moment fades into history, one nagging question remains: What is the correct way to pronounce Louisville?

It's more than an accent or local custom that guides the way you hear it.  No, way the word if formed is far more intentional.  Some start the word with LOO, others with LOW.  Some get midway through and pronounce the S.  I might end it with VIL; you might like VUHL.  And is it two syllables or three? 

I'm fairly certain the correct pronounciation starts with LOO, since the city is named in honor of the French king Louis XVI.  Whoever heard of King LOW or King LUH? 

And because the name's French, the S at the end of Louis has to be silent.  Most of us seem to agree on this point.

Further guidance is furnished at About.com:

The Local Pronunciation of Louisville

(c) 2008 Jessica Elliott
A sign on the front of the Louisville Visitors Center mocks the different ways that people pronounce the name of our city: "Lewisville," "Looeyville," "Looavull," "Looaville," and "Luhvull." Phonetically, it would seem that the "Lewisville" or "Looeyville" pronunciations would be correct. However, pronouncing the name of your new home either of those ways is sure to give you away as an outsider. The pronunciation that most Louisville residents use is "Looavull," though "Looaville" and "Luhvull" aren’t uncommon.

And according to Inogolo.com, the online English Pronounciation Guide to the Names of People, Places and Stuff:

Louisville
city in Kentucky

Name: Louisville
Phonetic Pronunciation: LOO-ih-vuhl
Notes: This is the pronunciation most commonly used by natives. Another common pronunciation widely heard outside of Kentucky is LOO-ee-vil.

So to recap: if you want to fit in with the locals, say it something like LOO-a-vull.  LOO-ey-ville is acceptable but you'll tip everyone off that you're not from around there.

But how does a local actually say the name?  I decided to ask a real Kentuckian.  Diane Sawyer at ABC News hails from the Bluegrass State and as a news anchor she should know as well as anyone the true pronounciation.  But my co-worker and former supervisor, Don Morton, was more readily available.  He grew up in Kentucky and spent the first 12 years of his life in Elizabethtown just outside Louisville.  He's a Wildcats fan first and follows the Cardinals.  Don knows Kentucky and he pronounces the city LOO-a-ville, only fast enough to make the middle syllable almost disappear. 

So there you have it.  Consider the matter settled until the running of the Kentucky Derby, when announcers will once again trot out their self-styled pronounciations.  Just listen, someone's gonna pronounce the S, like in St. Louis.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

World Health Day

Nearly every day is a holiday or commemoration somewhere on Earth.  Today, for instance, is Chakri Day, a national holiday in Thailand commemorating the founding of the Chakri Dynasty, the country's ruling monarch.  As the holiday falls on a Saturday, banks, commercial and government offices in Thailand will be closed on Monday. 

Tomorrow is World Health Day.  The global observance has taken on more significance since it was established by the World Health Organization in 1950.  Life expectancy in most countries has advanced to the point where more of us are expected to live longer and require health care, raising the dual study of how to stay healthy and how to pay the bill when we're sick.  Each year, a theme is selected to highlight an area of concern in public health.  This year's theme is high blood pressure, a topic infinitely more relatable than 2011's "Anti-microbial resistance: no action today, no cure tomorrow".  

Seriously, hypertension increases the risk of heart attacks, strokes and kidney failure and if left uncontrolled, high blood pressure can also cause blindness, irregular heartbeat and heart failure.  But it's preventable.  Doctors advise reducing salt intake, eating a balanced diet, avoiding the harmful use of alcohol, taking regular physical activity, maintaining a healthy body weight and avoiding tobacco use.

World Health Day is a celebration for the common good and you needn't wait a whole year for the next one.  Earth Day is April 22. 

Here's wishing you good health.  And Happy Chakri Day.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

My Evening with Pat Sajak


If you think everyone who has lived in L.A. has encountered a celebrity or two, you're probably right.  This is one of my stories.

When I was growing up I wanted to be a TV weatherman.  My friends had the usual childhood ambitions of doctor, lawyer, teacher, cop, fireman, astronaut and athlete.  I wanted to wear nice suits and get paid to talk.  And as comedian Lewis Black put it: the job of TV weatherman in a place like San Diego is the easiest job in the world. 

"What's the forecast, Lou?"

"It's gonna be nice." 

I also figured doing the weather at 5, 6 and 11 meant you got to sleep in every morning. 

I felt the calling after watching Dr. George Fischbeck, an avuncular  former  schoolteacher  who broke into television as host of an afternoon science show for kids on PBS.  His studio set resembled a home garage and each week he tackled the science questions every parent of a precocious child has heard.  Why is the sky blue?  How do airplanes stay up?  How does a tree know to grow an apple?  Dr. George gave the answers with cool chemistry experiments, homemade weather instruments, and common household objects.  In the days before computer graphics the man could hold children's attention with just cardboard and scissors.  His TV weather forecasts were no less compelling and his career at KABC 7 in Los Angeles spanned from 1972 to 1990.  He was the king of cumulonimbus.

Across town, the main weekday weatherman at KNBC 4 was Pat Sajak.  Before racking up 30+ years as host of Wheel of Fortune, Pat delivered the forecast with a boyish mug and the same wisecracking asides that have been one of the game show's hallmarks.  I have to guess that between them Pat and Dr. George dominated the ratings.  The CBS affiliate and four independent stations had their own weather anchors and I can't recall the names or faces of any of them.

I knew I needed a connection in this nepotic industry.  So when I got a college journalism assignment to write a biographical sketch, I set out to interview someone doing TV weather in Los Angeles and find out how to crack this nut.  KABC said Dr. George was on vacation.  Pat Sajak promptly took my call.  I told him about the assignment and my dream job of TV weatherman.  Having landed in the nation's #2 media market by the age of 30, he could probably tell that this nervous college freshman asking to job shadow was no threat to his career and agreed to meet.

The Burbank studio he worked in is a heady environment.  The station's newsroom at one time or another has seen the likes of Tom Brokaw, Tom Snyder, Bryant Gumbal, and Nick Clooney (George's dad).  Pat's co-workers included consumer advocate David Horowitz, who had a syndicated TV show; Harvey Levin, who'd go on to create TMZ; and sports anchor Stu Nahan, later seen as the ringside announcer in the early Rocky movies.  The studio was also the television home of Tonight Show host Johnny Carson.

It was 8:30 at night and Pat had just returned from a dinner break.  We sat in a small office where he studied weather wire copy and typed notes for his 11 o'clock report.  In between bursts at the typewriter, he recounted how he landed in L.A.: raised in Chicago, marriage to a college sweetheart, a lead in college to his first overnight gig at an AM radio station, a stint on Armed Forces Radio, and the advances through small markets before catching a break in Nashville as a disc jockey and weatherman.  Then KNBC called.  I was living at home my first year in college and started asking myself if that nomadic lifestyle was really for me.

After a stint in makeup, Pat was on with the weather halfway through the 11:00 news.  His notes crawled on the teleprompter and he pretty much ad libbed the segment.  After sports and during a commercial break, he returned to the set to fill his chair while anchorman John Schubeck wrapped up with a feature story and said goodnight.  The closing theme grew over his final words, the stage lights dimmed to silhouette the set and everyone in the studio fell silent as the camera shot faded and the station cut to commericals ahead of the Tonight Show.  I watched this production and considered the perks of the job: nice clothes, good money, low stress, famous colleagues, a two-hour dinner break, and spending part of each day at work in a hushed temperature-controlled TV studio.  OK, maybe I could deal with relocating now and again.

We filed out of the studio and walked toward the guard station at the entrance to the building.  Pat said he loved his job and was grateful for it every day.  But TV news in any market has no job security.  "Someday," he said knowingly, "this is going to end."  What then?  He said he'd like to host some kind of TV show.

I turned in my guest pass.  It was 11:45 p.m. and I had one more question.

"How late do you sleep in?"

"I get up around nine or ten."

I wondered if I could get hired to do the weather in Modesto after college.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Goodbye, Laramie

We've sold our home.  It's a seller's market and we got an offer the first day we listed it.  As we head toward closing, I'm feeling nostalgic and having flashbacks like the final episode of a great sitcom.

When we moved in five years ago, the house needed love.  It was suitable for keeping pit bulls, which the former occupant did.  It was not designed for comfort.  There was no carpeting, no grass and no shade except at the darkened doorstep behind a fortress-like front wall that blotted out the sun and the sky and provided privacy for whatever shenanigans were going on inside.  The double front doors were fake; one was really the outer wall of the kitchen.  The hard tile flooring withstood any abuse you could throw at it and was unforgiving to the occasional ceramic mug or wine glass dropped upon it.  The neighbor's yard was lush from his landscaping business, but ours was mostly cement and had three barren rings of stone.   A roving Google camera took this picture just after we moved in and had started the upgrades with new windows.


A work in progress
Fortunately, Marilyn has a talent for improving everything in her life.  I'm living proof.  She gave the home curb appeal and she knows a great handyman, Clint Cable.  She ordered carpet, carriage lights, front patio furniture, a new garage opener, crown molding, faucets, mirrors, shelves, windows and coverings and the sliding door to the patio.  Clint recommended and installed the new air conditioning, new insulation, new ducts, new registers, a patio cover in the backyard  and a beautiful oak front door.  His subcontractor cut out a portion of the front wall to expose the kitchen and front porch to natural light and a great view looking west down the street.  Two stone rings were demolished and Marilyn converted the third into a vegetable garden.  She planted roses, designed a water feature, picked out a birdbath, and had native plants put in.  One hot summer morning we cleared out the dead brush from all the flower beds.  Slowly but surely, the house became a home. 

We sure had some good times.  We threw a party when my article was published in Toastmaster magazine and had our 50th birthday parties catered.   We took advantage of the location -- the house sits on a hill just east of Mission Valley -- and hosted three annual "Flashlight Hike and Fireworks Night" fests in late-September featuring a walk up a trail to a lookout with a spectacular view of  radio KGB's Skyshow.  That spot seemed to be San Diego's best kept secret.  I don't know why it didn't become more popular over the years.  Another night we trapped a wild rabbit in our backyard.  For bait we used sliced apples and carrots suspended in pantyhose in a wire cage.  (Thanks, eHow.)  Then we drove the scared critter to Mission Trails and released it near the visitors center.

It was a slice of country in the city.  And just as safe.  Any night, you could leave a Mac book and your wallet on the front seat of your car parked unlocked with your keys in the ignition and there's a 99.99% chance both the car and the valuables would be there in the morning.  The biggest crime ever at our house occurred the night someone drove by the curb and knocked over one of our trash cans, breaking one of the lid hinges and forcing us to buy a new receptacle from the city.  In five years, I've seen police on our street only twice.  The neighbors are the greatest; watchful retirees living among working stiffs like me.  

I'm going to miss the kitchen and our small dog's trick of turning the kitchen lights on and off.  There's a  switch on the side of the counter and for Pepperidge Farm goldfish crackers she caught on pretty quick.


Now is the right time to go.  Marilyn loves the house and would happily live here the rest of her life or until we're escorted to assisted living.  But she indulged my wishes to live in a walkable neighborhood closer to our friends and our weekend activities.  I suspect her motives aren't entirely altruistic; she'll have a walk-in closet all to herself.  The new owner on Laramie lives around the corner and wants the house for her daughter and four-year-old granddaughter.  That girl will have great family support growing up and probably befriend the next-door landscaper's twin six-year-old girls.  Note to our buyer: if you have a dog, teach it to turn on the lights in the kitchen.  It's a cool trick especially when come home at night.  And don't worry if you occasionally forget to lock the front door.

So long, Laramie.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

The Invisible Gorilla

In court, witness perceptions often vary.  Did a car run a red light or was the light turning red?  Was a man's shirt black or deep blue?  Who threw the first punch?  What time did Mr. Smith leave the bar?  Two people will give different answers and swear they are right.  Sometimes the difference is over a major detail.  For example, in describing what they saw at the scene of a robbery,  one witness might say he's certain he saw a chrome-plated gun, the perpetrator was black, and his companion wore a white dress shirt.  Another witness may say with equal conviction there was no gun, the robber was Hispanic, and his accomplice wore a light jacket.  These differences can be ascribed to variables such as lighting conditions, stress, bias, motivation to lie, time's effect on memory, or merely the opportunity one had to observe.

How well can you recall a short event?  Would you and your friends remember the same thing?  This video is a good demonstration.  Sit back, relax, and test your powers of observation.




Saturday, March 9, 2013

Grammar Mistakes You Can Now Ignore


Monday was National Grammar Day.  I had the day off, woke up at the Doubletree in Dana Point, got a chiropractic adjustment, looked at homes for sale, had a nap, took the dog for a walk and won tabletopics at my Toastmasters club.  But as an internationally published author on grammar, I was sorry to learn I'd missed the annual celebration of torture.

Yahoo celebrated the day with a series of articles.  It turns out grammar is more flexible and forgiving than your English teachers and Schoolhouse Rock! may have lead you to believe.  According to Ben Yagoda, an author and professor of English and journalism at University of Delaware, you actually can start a sentence with a conjunction — and end it with a preposition.  He offers absolution for that and six more grammatical sins.


When it comes to the English language, I'm not an anything-goes kind of guy. If I were, I wouldn't have written a book called How to Not Write Bad: The Most Common Writing Errors and the Best Ways to Avoid Them. It's just that I hate to see people waste their time hunting down so-called mistakes that really aren't mistakes at all. So consider this a public-service announcement in the wake of Monday's National Grammar Day. Here are seven rules you really (really!) don't have to worry about following.
1. Don't split infinitives
The rule against splitting infinitives — that is, putting an adverb between the word to and a verb — was pretty much made up out of whole cloth by early 19-century grammarians, apparently because they felt the proper model for English was Latin, and in Latin, infinitive-splitting is impossible. However, English is not Latin, and infinitives have been profitably split by many great writers, from Hemingway ("But I would come back to where it pleases me to live; to really live") to Gene Rodenberry  ("to boldly go where no man has gone before"). It's okay to boldly do it.

2. Don't end a sentence with a preposition
The idea that it's wrong to end a sentence with a preposition (from, with, etc.) was invented by the English poet John Dryden... in 1672. He probably based his objection on a bogus comparison with — you guessed it — Latin, where such constructions don't exist. In any case, there is no basis to the rule in English grammar, and, once again, great writers have ignored it with no great loss to their prose or reputations. Jane Austen: "Fanny could with difficulty give the smile that was asked for." Robert Frost: "The University is one most people have heard of." James Joyce: "He had enough money to settle down on." Trying to avoid ending with a preposition frequently ties you into the awkward knot of "to whom" and "to which" constructions. On a memo criticizing a document for committing this "error," Winston Churchill allegedly wrote: "This is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I will not put."
It is true that prepositions are a relatively weak part of speech and, all things being equal, it's desirable to end sentences strongly. So sometimes it pays to rewrite such constructions. Thus, "He's the person I gave the money to" isn't as good as "I gave him the money."

3. Don't use "which" as a relative pronoun
The bogus idea here is that only that, never which, should be used to introduce so-called defining or restrictive clauses. For example, "The United States is one of the countries which that failed to ratify the Kyoto Protocol." One again, this is totally made up. Geoffrey Pullum, co-editor of the authoritative Cambridge Grammar of the English Language, has written, "The alleged rule has no basis. Even in edited prose, 75 percent of the instances of relative 'which' introduce 'restrictive' relatives." The culprit here seems to be the great language commentator H.W. Fowler, who popularized the notion in his 1926 book, Modern English Usage
In fairness to Fowler, he merely speculated that if writers were to follow this custom (as he acknowledged they currently did not), "there would be much gain both in lucidity & ease." Language sticklers took that and ran with it, and this idea reigned for most of the rest of the century. Even now, it has a lot of adherents. But it still doesn't have any justification. One of the great sticklers, Jacques Barzun, advised in a 1975 book that we ought to avoid such whiches. But as Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of English Usage points out, on the very next page Barzun broke his own rule, writing, "Next is a typical situation which a practiced writer corrects 'for style' virtually by reflex action…."

4. Don't start a sentence with a conjunctionExcept possibly in the most formal settings, there is absolutely nothing wrong with starting a sentence with And or But. A funny thing about the supposed rule against doing so is that no one has been able to find a book or authority that has ever endorsed it (with the exception of a single 1868 text turned up by the scholar Dennis Baron). But countless people feel this is unacceptable, possibly because the notion was pounded into their head by some middle school grammar teacher. Get over it!  (It has become popular recently to follow sentence-opening conjunctions with a comma, for example, "But, we got there too late for the early-bird special." That is indeed wrong. No comma.)

5. Don't use the passive voiceThe poster child for passive-hating is a quote from President George H.W. Bush. In a 1986 speech about the Iran-Contra scandal, he said, "Clearly, mistakes were made." Just as clearly, the problem is that the grammar fudges a crucial question: Who made the mistakes? Passive construction can indeed propagate such obfuscation, as well as wordiness, and thus should be used judiciously. But there's nothing inherently wrong with it, and when the subject of a clause or sentence isn't known, or isn't as important as the object, passive voice can be just the thing. Tom Wicker's classic New York Times opening sentence of November 23, 1963, would have been ruined if he'd tried to shoehorn it into the active voice. Wicker wrote: "President John Fitzgerald Kennedy was shot and killed by an assassin today."
6. Don't neglect to use singular verbs
Etymologically, data is the plural of the Latin datum. But from the time it first appeared in English, it has been treated as a collective noun (such as water or money), and collective nouns take singular verbs. Every single citation in The Oxford English Dictionary (OED) pairs data with such a verb, starting with, "Inconsistent data sometimes produces a correct result," from an 1820 edition of the Edinburgh New Philosophical Journal. Thus, insisting on the data are… is pretentious and unnecessary. Media, meaning the various means by which information is disseminated in a society, appeared later — 1923, according to the OED. Although it's plural of the Latin medium, it too was treated from the start as a singular. The media are…  is an unfortunate recent affectation.

A similar issue arises when a word such as group or bunch is followed by the word of, then a plural. For example: "A bunch of my friends is/are coming over." Some sticklers insist on is, because group is singular. But this is an area where English grammar is flexible, and are is acceptable as well. My advice is to choose the singular or plural based on whether you're emphasizing the collection or the individuals. In the above example, I would go with are. Saying A bunch of my friends is coming over sounds as stuffy as your nostrils in the middle of a particularly bad cold.

7. Don't use words to mean what they've been widely used to mean for 50 years or more
An instant's glance at the OED confirms that the one thing about words that never changes is that their meanings always change. The process takes time, and to be an early adopter of a new meaning means putting yourself at risk of both incomprehension and abuse. However, at a certain point, clinging to old definitions is a superstitious waste of time and thought. Here's a list of words and expressions whose new meanings, though still scorned by some sticklers, are completely acceptable. (If it puzzles you that there is any objection to some of these, or to find out the original meaning, Google the word or phrase. You will find a lively debate, to say the least.)

It's okay to use...
Decimate to mean "kill or eliminate a large proportion of something"
like to mean "such as"
liable to to mean "likely to"
hopefully to mean "I hope that"    
over to mean "more than"
since to mean "because"
while to mean "although"
momentarily to mean "in a moment"
the lion's share to mean "the majority"
verbal to mean "oral"
I could care less to mean "I couldn't care less"

And if you have a problem with that, I could care less.

………………………………………………………………………………
Ben Yagoda is the author of How to Not Write Bad: The Most Common Writing Errors and the Best Ways to Avoid Them (published last month by Riverhead) and nine other books. He is a Professor of English and Journalism at the University of Delaware. His website is www.benyagoda.com.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Things I Hate




A few days ago I was cut off on the freeway during the morning commute.  That got me thinking about things I hate even more...

...seven-minute commercial blocks on radio.

...the 80's music British invasion.

...TV channels that discourage flipping by running their commercials at the same time.

...TV shows that mistake fast dialogue for clever dialogue.

...TV reporters who ask victims of crime, freakish weather and other misfortune how it made them feel.

...news anchors and reporters who say "we're told (blank)" instead of reporting who said what.

...politicians who don't give direct answers to questions.

...interviewers who let them get away with their evasive answers.

...Piers Morgan

...Andy Dick

...drivers who flick lit cigarette butts on the road.

...traffic lights that turn red when there's no cross-traffic or pedestrian.

...AT&T's frequent rate hikes.

...people who don't return my phone calls.

...sitting in the cheap seats.

...an over-heated office space.

...being in the slowest line at a grocery store

...being last in any line as the line gets shorter

...green peppers

...cumin

...Starbuck's coffee

...hearing the word picture pronounced pitcher

...air freshners used to mask other odors in a hotel room

...a frozen cursor

...hitting a tee shot at the top of the ball and watching it dribble 30 feet.

...that photos and videos disappear from my blog posts.

And finally, a few things I hate when I'm in a restaurant.

...being seated near the bathroom.

...waiters who take our order without writing anything down and get it wrong.

...milk with coffee when I asked for half-and-half.

...when a favorite restaurant jumps the shark.

Thanks for reading.  I actually feel better.  Feel free to post a comment and add what you hate.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Sorry, I'm Not That Larry Stone


I'm one of the shrinking number of Americans that have a cell phone and haven't cut the cord to their landline.  When the home phone rings it's usually my dad calling on his trusty home phone.  The next most frequent caller is my girlfriend; third is my buddy Craig who still has my home number programmed on his cell's speed dial.  The rest of the callers are solicitors and people trying to reach another Larry Stone.

A lot can happen when you and other guys have the same name.  In the latter half of the 1990's and most of the 2000's another Larry Stone and I lived at separate addresses on Rancho Mission Road, a short street in San Diego's Mission Valley.  Occasionally I got his mail and phone calls and maybe he got mine, but we never met.  All I know about him is he might have had a delinquent account and the last four digits of his social security number do not match mine.

One time I was mistaken for a more famous Larry Stone.   During restaurant week -- the annual days when participating restaurants offer prix fixe menus for $20, $30 or $40 per person -- my girlfriend and I went to Molly's, a steakhouse then located inside the downtown Marriott Marina.  I gave my name to the hostess who seated us immediately, the first indication I wasn't who they thought I was.  As we looked over the prix fixe menu choices, the house sommelier stopped at our table and with a hint of expectation asked me,  "Are you Larry Stone?"  I looked at her trying to figure out if she was a former classmate or maybe looking for another Larry Stone.  With nothing more to go on, I just replied boastfully, "Why, yes I am!"  She introduced herself as Lisa Redwine, and asked if I was Larry Stone the sommelier from Northern California.  That brought us both back to earth.  I had to tell her no, a fact she could have just as easily discerned from my decidedly unsophisticated knowledge about wines.

There are two more Larry Stones of some repute and I crossed paths with one.  There's Larry Stone the county assessor in Santa Clara, California.  We both wear glasses and have thinning hair, but in his online profile he wears the easy smile of someone headed for a good pension.  The other is perhaps the most reknown Larry Stone, a sports columnist for The Seattle Times.  I emailed both of them about this post and asked if they had ever had experiences like mine.  Larry Stone the sports writer replied with alacrity and added to the Circle of Larry:

Hi, Larry. I feel like I know you. Sounds like a great blog post – can’t wait to read it.

When I was working at the San Francisco Examiner, I actually interviewed Larry Stone, who was then the mayor of Santa Clara and is now the county assessor you mentioned. He was heavily involved in a movement to get the Giants to San Jose, if I recall, and I was doing a story about that. I called him up and we had a good laugh about the fact that Larry Stone was interviewing Larry Stone. I think we put a disclaimer at the end of the story that we weren’t related.

When I moved to Seattle to cover the Mariners for the Seattle Times, there was a freelance radio reporter named Larry Stone who also covered a lot of Mariners games. That led to some confusion. One time, we both went on a road trip to Colorado to cover the Mariners in a big interleague series. I had arranged for a parking pass, but when I went to pick it up, they said, “Oh, Larry Stone already picked up the pass.” The other Larry Stone had taken my pass!

There is a long-time outdoors writer in Iowa named Larry Stone. He used to work for the Des Moines Register, but now I think he’s freelance.

And that’s about the extent of my Larry Stone knowledge. Feel free to use what you want. 

Take care, Larry.

Larry


Thanks, Larry.

Readers of this blog may know another Larry Stone or one that uses the more formal nom de guerre Lawrence Stone.  We're everywhere.  We're dentists, doctors, civil lawyers, teachers and professors, politicians, fitness coaches, corporate CFO's, pastors, newspapermen, wine experts, photographers and authors.  One collects WWII memorabilia.   Another repairs guns.  There's the guy researching his family tree.  If you're calling for one of them, sorry, I'm not that Larry Stone.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Novelty Bets



 



My first time in a casino was a novice gambler's dream.  I hauled in $105 at a two-dollar minimum blackjack table at Bally's Las Vegas by recklessly doubling  my bet after each losing hand and unconventionally  doubling down on 12.  It's not a system I recommend as I've been unable to duplicate that success in any casino or controlled experiment. 

There are a myriad of ways you can lose in a casino, but for my money none are as creative as the sportsbook.  I have to admit to some fascination by how the odds are determined.  On any day, why, for example, are the Lakers favored by 9 points over the Suns,  and the Chargers's chances of winning it all next year are an astronomical longshot of 500:1?  It helps to understand the odds are not a prediction by oddsmakers.  Their expertise is in crunching the player and team stats and setting the odds to induce the gambling public to put down roughly the same amount on either side of the bet.  The casino profits regardless of the payout, except when the underdog triumphs in a big upset.  That's why odds can change as the bets roll in.  In essence, gamblers try to predict the winners with their dollars.

On line, you can bet on almost anything.  Which team will win the next Super Bowl.  Who will be your next president, mayor, congressman or prime minister.  What Wills and Kate will name their baby.  The Oscars winners.  The choice to succeed Pope Benedict XVI.  You can enter a "ghoul pool" and bet which celebrity will be the next to die.  The only limits are your imagination and someone's willingness to take your money.  Got stocks? The stock market, says one investor I know, is the world's biggest casino. 

Hesitant to bet?  You already gamble every day.  Drive or walk through an intersection and you're betting a driver in cross traffic won't run a red light at the same time.  If you take out life insurance or a reverse mortgage, you're laying down a bet on your life span.  When you drink and drive, you're calculating the odds and betting you'll arrive home safely. 

Here's a sample web site where you can place your bets.  Good luck.  I'll be over at the slots.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

The Helium Shortage




Dumb it down



Super Bowl XLVII had its surprises.  There was the 35-minute delay when half the stadium lights went out.  The 49ers mounted a near-comeback in the second half.  And Ravens coach John Harbaugh was not soaked in a Gatorade shower by his players after they won the game.  But another surprise rippled that day and has grown to threaten our economy.  Folks, the world is running out of helium.

Imagine calling Party City and being told you cannot place a phone order for helium balloons.  That happened to me Sunday while on my way to a friend's Super Bowl party.  I called ahead to order two bunches of balloons in the teams's colors.  The clerk said the store was not accepting phone orders.  My girlfriend Marilyn surmised this was due to the helium shortage she heard about on the news.  "I'll bet some people don't pick up their orders," she said.  "You can write about it on your blog."

Sure enough, a Google search reveals this is the worst helium shortgage in decades.  One British chemist is calling for a ban on the sale of helium balloons.  Another web site has a gloomy prediction for Valentine's Day.  The number of helium balloons you can add to a flower arrangement may be limited, if you can get them at all.  By the middle of this century, the supply of helium could be depleted. 

Blame the gas companies.  Helium is a by-product of natural gas production and two of the major plants in the U.S., the country that supplies 75% of the world's helium, are down for repairs.  I don't entirely buy this supply-and-demand explanation.   My 8th grade science teacher, Mr. Cameron, taught us helium is the second most-abundant element in the universe.  If helium is born free and roams wildly, American ingenuity can find a way to capture it in shiny metal canisters.

Thanks for the story idea, hon.  If something's missing at your next birthday party, for your sake I'm glad it won't be due to a shortage of Costco All-American Chocolate Cake.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

How I Lerned to Prooffread

One thing about writing a blog: it helps punch up your proofreading skills.  The ability to proofread is vital even in this electronic age.  Spell checkers miss words that are misspelled but form another word, so they don't tip you off if your writing condemns a pubic display or reports about the loins at the zoo.

For instilling this ability I owe a debt of gratitude to my CSUN journalism 110 professor, Tom Reilly.  A former newspaper reporter and editor for the Valley News, he taught with an eye toward preparing students for the real world.   There was no slack for late assignments or poor spelling.  Each time he'd grade assignments and hand them back he'd report to the class the spelling, grammar and factual mistakes he caught.  He delivered the news with a slight grin that said he was half-bemused, but only half, and his method helped us improve without embarrassment.  A dedicated teacher, even during the final exam he couldn't refrain from throwing in a good lesson.  For extra credit, he wrote a sentence that went something like "He wasn't phased when he received the news his favorite uncle had passed away" and gave instructions to find the spelling error.  For the record, the word should be "fazed". 

The hardest lesson I learned in that spring semester of '78 was the result of a proofreading error I'll forever remember as "The Louis Mistake".  One day Professor Reilly brought to class the head of a news agency, a man named Louis, and held a mock press conference in which we each queried Louis  about his job and wrote a thumbnail sketch.  In the story I wrote, my only error, factual or otherwise, was once omitting the "u" in his first name, which changed the pronounciation and gender.  For that mistake, Professor Reilly scored my paper 5 on a scale of 12.  After class I griped to him how unfair it was to knock off seven points and give a failing grade for what was essentially a typo.  "It is unfair," he replied.  "I should have given you a zero."

My final grade was a B.  It was a high B, I'm sure, and it would have been a shame if I had been seven or fewer points away from an A.

Sadly, Professor Reilly passed away in 2002 at the young age of 67.  His obituaries online credit him with chairing CSUN's journalism department twice and rebuilding it after its destruction in the 1994 Northridge earthquake.  He took a sabatical between chairing appointments, traveled the world and authored books on journalism history.  He died when printed newspapers were still viable but the competition in the 24/7 news cycle was already compromising good reporting skills like fact-checking and spelling to the point where sloppy reporting often is the story.  In some eternal classroom, Professor Reilly is commenting about these practices and he isn't fazed.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

The Science of Telling Lies


 
This was the week that was for prevaricators.  Junior Seau's family filed a wrongful death lawsuit against the NFL claiming it willfully hid the truth about the dangers of repeated blows to the head, like those sustained by NFL players.  Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te'o admitted he perpetuated lies about a fake girlfriend.  Rastafarian leaders claimed rap musician Snoop Lion (formerly and perhaps one day to be known again as Snoop Dogg) lied about becoming a Rasta in order to sell more records and make a movie.  The White House and singer Beyonce's handlers were pressed for details about why she faked singing The National Anthem at President Obama's inauguration by lip-singing, and avoided the subject.  Lance Armstrong admitted to doping during cycling races and lying about it.  And recently unveiled church records all but confirm Roman Catholic retired archbishop Cardinal Roger Mahony lied to cover for pedophilic priests.

Some fibbers uncovered in the media plead for you to understand the situational pressure upon them.  Still, having lied you have to keep lying or risk exposing the deception.  As Judge Judy often puts it when admonishing the litigants before her, "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember what you said."

How to spot a lie is an interesting study.  A lot of retired cops run seminars across the country teaching newer cops, business personnel and prosecutors to catch crooks in their imaginative stories.  I took one of these classes for training years ago and look for the tell-tale signs whenever this week's Bernie Madoff or Kevin Trudeau are talking.  Here's a representation of what the pros say to watch for:




And here's a more comprehensive newspaper article. 


You were saying, Mr. Sandusky?

Saturday, January 19, 2013

The Greatest Speeches in History

Ask any actor, writer, singer or other artist and they'll tell you they owe their talent and success to a role model.  Public speaking is no different.  If you want to become an accomplished orator you should study the great ones.

This Monday is the day this year we honor the birth and legacy of civil rights leader Dr. Martin Luthur King Jr.   His  passionate "I Have a Dream" speech is at the top of the list ranking 100 historic speeches at http://www.americanrhetoric.com/top100speechesall.html

Thanks to audio and video recordings, you can listen to and watch most of the speeches on this website as well as read the speech transcripts.  The collection includes other addresses by Dr. King, and the famous speeches of American presidents like Lyndon Johnson, Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan, whose address the day the spaceshuttle Challenger exploded makes the list at #8.   His somber and avuncular reassurance to the nation and particularly to schoolchildren who may have seen the horror on live TV is a great example of how the right words and delivery create a powerful and memorable speech.  It's one of those times you remember where you were if you were old enough to remember.

If you want to jump to the notable parts of some famous speeches, there's another website with its own list of 35 with photos and the excerpts.  http://artofmanliness.com/2008/08/01/the-35-greatest-speeches-in-history/


My leap into public speaking was inspired not by a statesman but a comedian.  By ninth grade, I had pretty much worn out my parents's copy of the record album 'Inside Shelly Berman' (which won the Grammy for Best Spoken Comedy Recording in 1960) and I recited the monologues at summer camp and elementary school talent shows.   So began a lifelong appreciation of comedy and the spoken word.  I admire the way the greats from Jack Benny, George Carlin and  Bill Cosby to Bill Maher, Brian Regan and Stephen Colbert use humor to express their views and hold audiences's attention.

Public speaking entertains and informs and is a vital part of American history.  For every important event there seems to be a great speech that created or commemorated it.  Even as our country was getting started, the founding fathers recognized how important the principle is when they wrote the Constitution and placed free speech near the top as part of the First Amendment.  Born from that guaranteed right, the historic speeches are here preserved forever.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

'The Bachelor' Drinking Game



Monday saw the premiere of the 17th and latest season of 'The Bachelor' on ABC.  If the premise is unfamiliar to you, it's a dating reality show in which a single bachelor chooses a potential wife from a pool of romantic interests.  Conflicts, hostilities, tears and joy arise from the elimination-style competition and some twists the producers throw in.  The show's immensely popular; it's been running for ten years and consistently ascends near the top of the Nielsen ratings.  It also has a large budget for roses.

When the show airs between 8:00 - 9:00 p.m., I'm usually watching The 'Daily Show with Jon Stewart' and 'The Colbert Report'.  But a couple of years ago, my girlfriend convinced me to watch the last three episodes of season 15, the one with returning bachelor Brad Womack and his future ex-fiancee Emily Maynard.  Beautiful people.  Beautiful shots in beautiful places where you'd expect people to fall in love like Catalina Island, Las Vegas and Costa Rica.  And fall in love they did, insistantly saying so in flat vocal inflections people naturally use in romantic situations like when getting an estimate from a mechanic or testifying in court.

Then I noticed the word "scared".  The contestants said it a lot to each other and in comments in private interviews.  One woman was scared of Brad's intentions, another scared to be alone with him, a third one scared to be vulnerable, and yet another scared if this was love or merely infatuation.  Brad was scared to meet one lady's family, scared to be a potential stepfather, and scared of leading anyone on.  Any of them could have meant they were excited, ebullient, elated, empathetic, hopeful,  hesitant,  nervous, optimistic, pessimistic, doubtful, thrilled or uncertain; but back in junior high, you know, "scared" about covered it all.  It gave me an idea.  I grabbed a Blue Moon and bottle of Chivas from the kitchen and we turned the word into a drinking game.  Each time someone on the show used the s-word we knocked one back.  (Kudos to the contestant who said "frightened" but it is a synonym for "scared" and commanded we drink.)  By the end of the show, we were scared of driving anywhere.

I checked parts of Monday's two-hour season premiere online.  It's "game on" in the second hour and presumably the rest of the season.  Try it for yourself.  You may find it makes the show so good it's scary.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Judging a Movie by its Preview

I don't go to the movies as much as I used to.   For every "Skyfall" or "Django Unchained" it seems there are twice as many movies to skip; remakes like "Total Recall", sequels like "Piranah 3-DD", sci-fi like "John Carter", failed blockbusters, tepid comedies, superhero superbombs, and... you get the picture.  Certainly my late-baby boomer demographic accounts for another reason I'm spending less at the box office.

Whether a movie makes my bucket list or blacklist is determined when I see the preview in the theatre or on TV.  Previews are supposed to make you want to see the film by featuring some of the best moments from the movie, so the inclusion of certain scenes are a dealbreaker for me. If a preview contains any of these three insipid ideas, it's a sure bet the movie is a dud.


1. Any preview in which a guy is hit in the balls.  Recent example: 'Parental Guidance' with Billy Crystal.  Granted the scene may be funny, but if the preview includes a guy taking it in the sack, you'll find nothing more inspired in the movie than a guy taking it in the sack.  And the collective "ohh!" of the audience during the preview won't have the same punch when you see it again.

2. Any preview in which a character asks something like "Who are you?", "What's going on here?", "What is this place?" or "Where are we?"  Sure, the pithy remark builds suspense, but over what?   Probably no one involved in making the movie was sure.  A scene that might make me want to see the film is one that answers that dumb question.  'Parker' has sealed its fate with the clip "Who the hell are you?".  In three months you'll have to google the name to remember what the film was about.

3. Any preview in which a man wears women's clothes and the film doesn't include Robin Williams.  The gag was well done in "Mrs. Doubtfire" and "The Birdcage", two Robin Williams movies that made good points about gender roles and played them for laughs.  But as a story twist to run from the cops or blend in with a group of women, it's lame.  If that's one of the best scenes, it won't work even if the guy is hit in the balls.

Thumbs down from me.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

TSP Special Edition: New Years 2013 Around the World

I love the annual montage of fireworks celebrating New Years around the world.  See if you can get through the 2013 displays without mouthing the word "wow".